Hey you!
First of all I wanna say, sorry. It has been a looooong while, practically the entire summer since we blogged. With good reason (i think). Hmmm... let's see... well, we finally sold our home and moved twice (God... what a nightmare), my external hard drive went kaput (can we say $$$), and between settling in to our new place and wanting to spend some quality time with the girls, I found finding time for myself next to impossible. Sewing or crafting of any sort was out of the question. It was a very trying period for me both physically and emotionally.
Earlier in the summer I was reading Kim's post about her personal struggles and thoughts on being a SAHM. It hit home. I have been struggling with this for years...YEARS. I wanted to just to hug her. I was taught early on that success was based on being financially and professionally set. Get a degree, have a career first and then get married and have a family. Well life didn't quite happened like that for me. I met the man of my dreams right out of high school, tried college and nursing school and it didn't work out, so we got married. He pursued the military, finished school and has a successful career, while I decided to keep the home fire burning and taking care of our beautiful girls. I should be happy. SHOULD... but I'm not. I think I failed myself. Everyone I had talked to thinks I'm crazy. Perhaps. I mean I know I'm a great mom and an amazing wife, but for myself, I want more.
*sigh*
I want my cake and eat it, but sometimes I feel like I'm settling for a cookie.
So as I continue on my quest for personal happiness, I will continue to do what I do best...a mother... a wife... sew... create.
It's good to talk to you again.
I have new things to share with you!
Please come back as I always enjoy your company.
***hugs***
I totally understand. I often feel as though I missed a step. I too have decided to focus on what I do best, mom, wife, happy homemaker and sewist. But I am trying to find my creative spark again to make me happy while I am doing it. congrats on the new house and spending time with all those beautiful girls!
ReplyDeleteI think this is one of the most understated things in motherhood. Some days (especially now with 3 kids 3 and under) i feel like i am spinning my wheels and going no where fast. That is one reason i keep sewing and creating and learning... even if sometimes it means that the kids talk to me while i work on something. I mean, i clean and cook and care, abut there is no reason our children shouldn't see us succeeding in other ways too. I have to remind myself it's hard either way. If i were at work every day, like my husband is, i would miss the kids and wish i was doing what i am currently doing. I try to just give myself a break... i am not perfect but i'm enjoying my little moment of insanity... Good luck Venus! You are very very talented and quite smart and fun. I've enjoyed "getting to know you" via blogosphere! (even though i took my own almost year hiatus! haha!)
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